Narcissistic Lovers: How to Cope, Recover and Move On Review

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(More customer reviews)Had a very painful breakup with a narcissist, whom I had once fondly thought of as "just a little vain". Could not make any kind of sense how this man I thought was everything I ever wanted and would have bet any amount of money felt the same about me, exhibited such a profound shift in behavior after 6 months. He went from loving, devoted, and committed to cold, critical, and most heartbreakingly--unfaithful, seemingly overnight. None of it made sense, and it was practically killing me waiting for him to return to the way it was. Then I read this book. Although it was very painful to read and acknowledge the truth of the situation: he didn't love me in any real sense, he had no capacity for empathy, I was "supply", and that I was trying desperately to save a relationship he'd already left--reading this book was also validating in the extreme. From the very first page, I recognized our relationship, recognized him, recognized my reactions to him in a way I've never experienced in a book. I kept thinking "yes, that's it, that's him,". It even had almost word for word quotes I'd heard from his mouth--unbelievable!! Finally, I was able to understand, and it shifted things for me in a profound way. Can't say I'm completely healed, but this book, more than the others on the topic that I purchased at the time, helped me to see, understand, and detach enough to try to really move on. This book is very easy to read, and gives lots of case examples and histories as well as the didactic explanations. For everyone in this situation, trying to make sense of what happened to the idyll, what you did wrong, you'll learn what you need here. The only thing I wish was that they could have given more in the way of concrete ways to move past, beyond observing the "no contact rule". Understanding it all was enormously helpful, but it could have been even more so if there had been more in the way of practical suggestions in dealing with them when they "come back for old supply", or are abusive directly. But do, do buy this book--it really helped to get me unstuck where nothing else could.

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